I’m obsessed with my high school Gwyneth Paltrow. I think she probably likes it that way.

As I toss chicken fingers in the oven, Gwyneth bakes cayenne and white cheddar casseroles with sautéed garlic and caramelized onions, roasted broccoli and a breadcrumb topping. And she “pretty much invented the whole thing as [she] went along.”

As Mr. D and I hit a two-month dry spell, she asks, “Have YOU locked your kids out of the room on a Sunday morning lately?” before adding a winky emoticon and a #doeet hashtag.

Last Thanksgiving, she and her family biked through four miles of lava at sunset, then hiked over another half mile, to “sit on the coast, on the edge of a sea cliff, and watch the lava pour into the ocean.” Biking home with headlamps capped off the adventure, and although her iPhone pics “definitely couldn’t do it justice,” she still managed to post 15 photos and an intentionally misspelled #Thanksgivin hashtag.

I relish the not-so-humble humblebrags. Maybe because she is at once everything I despise about mommy blogs (the irony is not lost on me) and everything I wish I could be.

Is ambition connected to arrogance? Isn’t ambition the belief that you can do something better than anyone else?

Is my blog arrogant? Am I arrogant?

Is it arrogant to ask for $100,000 salary when those who do less make far more?

Is arrogance unattractive? Are arrogant women unattractive? Is that the reason women fear ambition? Do women fear ambition?

Could a female candidate claim to “shoot somebody and not lose any voters” and still make it to the White House?

I keep trying to understand the relationship between arrogance and ambition. I don’t yet have an answer.

I don’t pretend to know a thing about parenting, other than my goal is to not fuck up. But I am a fairly arrogant writer and storyteller. I know communications and the importance of targeting your message to your audience. It’s how I knew Donald Trump would become president after the second debate.

I know my story (and voice) are one of a kind.

But who gets to tell the story? Is it arrogant to want a book deal? An HBO show? Is it arrogant to believe in yourself?

Social media is arrogant. High School Gwyneth Paltrow is arrogant.

And yet she’s doing it. With a daring spirit bold. Thousands of miles away from her parents and family and friends. She has two young daughters and all the excuses in the world, but that didn’t stop her from packing up the most important pieces and moving them to Hawaii.

Her kids will be just fine as adults. Her family bikes through miles of lava to sit on the edge of a sea cliff and count their blessings. She and her husband live paycheck-to-paycheck in paradise while raising beautiful, compassionate, wonderful little girls.

When the long workday is done, I get a few hours with my kids. Sometimes they’re great; sometimes I ruin them completely. And here I claim to worship Time like the precious God it is.

I obsess over Gwyneth because I envy her brave heart.

Are we ambitious to want the good life, or are we arrogant in our assumptions of what makes this life good?